they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
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