I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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