i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
