To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
He did a backflip because drugs
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
