Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
