Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
