Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
