I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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