She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
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