I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
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