The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
