I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
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