The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Randomize
