Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I have so many feelings about this burrito
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
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