And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
This couple is walking their pig around campus
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
