Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
whose parrot is this?
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
