I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
