I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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