I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Randomize
