dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize