It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Randomize
