what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
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