Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Randomize
