I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Someone shattered a urinal.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Randomize
