I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Actions speak louder than pants.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
