i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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