I just made out with a guy for $7.
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
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