Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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