Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
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