She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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