weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
My brain says no but my pants say off.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Randomize
