not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Randomize
