Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Randomize
