I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
