I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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