Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
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