...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Randomize
