thus making me awesome and them whores
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
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