So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
