He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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