At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
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