69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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