So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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