How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
