Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
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