whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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