Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
This is the high leading the old right now
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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