i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Randomize
