Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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