Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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