Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
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