I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
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