Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
