Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
i came on her dog
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize
