You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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