I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize
