bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
