I'm jealous of your bromance
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
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