She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
