i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Randomize
