Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
