In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize