he puts the penis in happiness.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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