New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
We need to feng shui this bitch.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
